Heart Work

Colossians 1:25-27

25 Of this church I was made a minister according to the stewardship from God bestowed on me for your benefit, so that I might fully carry out the preaching of the word of God, 26 that is, the mystery which has been hidden from the past ages and generations, but has now been manifested to His saints, 27 to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

God has been working on my heart lately. Rooting out the perfectionism and performance that has so marked my life and at times have prided myself on. It's wrong. I know that, and it's exhausting to be a professional perfectionist. People sometimes appluad it and say how great it is that I'm such an organizer or so detail oriented. I'm just glad that I have a husband who keeps me in check and is mindful of my weakness to push myself into exhaustion for the sake of things being perfect or the way that I imagine them or what I think other Christian women, usually homemakers, applaud. I'm not perfect. It reminds me of high school. People would tell me that I was so perfect. They'd say I had perfect friends, perfect family, perfect grades, perfect this, perfect that...blah, blah, blah. Inside I would be writhing in pain, thinking of how I walked through the hallways of high school holding my breath.

Now, don't be misled God has definitely freed me from that type of bondage of perfectionism and performance. Don't let yourself be fooled, it is bondage. The enemy loves to get into the sneaky, quiet, good looking areas of our lives. It's good that I'm organized and etc, but Satan taints that good and works to turn it to evil. And I have let him. (Interesting tangent: A pastor once said that if you're not working with God you're working against Him. It's the same with sin. I choose to sin, like all of us, so there are times when I choose to work with Satan. It's a bad thing that Christ in me eradicates as I walk with Him.)

Having just been married I've been emmersing myself in articles, blogs, podcasts, and books on biblical womanhood, femininity, and homemaking. All these are topics which I have studied for a few years now and truly love, enjoy, and believe. However, over the last few days God has been revealing the striving and perfection that I have been trying to attain in my own strength in regard to these things. Let me tell you, it's exhausting. Here's an excerpt from my journal where I was talking about this:

1. There's a chance I might be striving too hard in my role as helper in the home--in my own strength.
2. I'm trying (and wishing) so hard to be like those of the blogs I read.
3. I should be excited about my biblical role as helper and submission (see John Piper's definition) and to live that out joyfully. [<-- This is where striving for perfection gets you.]

I've found that I've wanted #2 so bad, I'm trying to emulate and think of things that would be like them. I wish I was home so I could do #1 better, at least in my own eyes. And with #3 I get frustrated at Joe or myself (or both) and lose (or really give up) my joy.

So, what to do?

Live as God designed me; not to emulate other believers, learn from them, yes, but emulate Christ. And I have my own gifts and ministry that are useful and people need, so I should be doing that.

That's where I've been recently. Yet, yesterday God started knocking on another door. In youth, one of the college guys was teaching on the chapter in Acts where Phillip followed the Spirit to Gaza where he met the Ethiopian eunch and began talking to him about Jesus and the man was baptized. We broke up into small groups to go over some questions. As a leader, I felt pretty unprepared. My mind had not really been set on ministry, evangelism, etc. as of late. But one of the questions was, "What is keeping you from witnessing like Phillip?" The question was eluding to the fact that Phillip readily went where the Lord sent him, not knowing what but followed the Spirit and witnessed. A follow-up question was "What is keeping you from witnessing?" The answers in our group were fear, inconvenience, busyness, lack of passion, and not knowing what to say or do (all of which I could confess).

It convicted me, so I confessed my sin along with the other girls in my group. As the day went on and also today the idea has struck me, and continually grown, that I've been so consumed by focusing my attention on biblical womanhood, femininity, and homemaking--all which are good and need attention---yet, have turned my attention from the Lord. In some ways they have been focused on myself and not the Lord. More importantly, God has been revealing to me that in those things I have lost my focus on the job Christ has given me--to be a minister of freedom and a proclaimer of grace. Basically, I haven't been focused and mindful of the great commission that Christ has given to all believers. I've been living my life paying attention to important things, but ignoring the most important: spreading a passion for the glory of God.

I have a role in the body of Christ that is my own. The women whose blogs, books, and podcasts I read and listen to have their own role in the body of Christ, yet for all of us our utmost goal is to spread a passion for God throughout our homes, churches, community, country, and world. We, I, have to get outside of myself, outside of my home to spread a passion for the glory of God.

It starts in my home, but if it stays there or even in my small little community of family, friends, and believers it's sin. Christ has anointed me to spread the Good News and as good as it is to study, learn, and implement biblical womanhood, femininity, and homemaking if I stop there I've lost my mission. I've fallen short. I've stopped at myself. Christ in me, the hope of glory.

Spread it...

"Domestics duties are good, but how long are you going to shine the furniture? You use to not need furniture. You use to not need all those things that have consumed you. You need to save your money and get a passport."

-Brian Brennt, Pastor of New Song Church (To hear the whole sermon go here.)

One picture to hold you over...

Post-Wedding Update

This update might take a few days, but we're back from our honeymoon. For the last few days we've been getting readjusted to being back at home and no longer honeymooning, getting back work and church (I haven't yet, but Joe has) and Joe to his new job (yeah!). We got back late Saturday night, so Sunday we slept in, opened wedding presents, and visited with friends.

Monday we started putting away all our wedding gifts--it's taking some rearranging and going through stuff. Good thing there's a rummage sale this weekend at our church. (There's still piles to go through in quite a few corners of the apartment, and apparently there are wedding things to go through at the church still. I'll be busy this weekend.) We ran errands, Joe got new shoes, we returned a few things to Target, and even made it to Costco and got a new bed! The first night back we tried sleeping on the double I had been borrowing from my new sister-in-law and the second night we sleep on the fold-out couch with some two pieces of overlapping foam (April, why didn't you tell it was that bad?). So, we got a mattress and a boxspring for $589! My sleep is finally becoming sweet again.

Since Monday we've just been working and readjusting to life (and married life). Tomorrow I'll post some of the wedding pictures I have, but for now here's the link to the photo gallery:

www.benjaminfondrk.com

Click online gallery, then weddings, then Joe & Jess, and the password is our wedding date (hint: we got married on St. Patrick's day)

Also, this weekend I just might post some quotes from a few of the books I've been reading that struck me as quite good...just maybe, if I have time. ;)

See you soon!

Mrs. Joe Mueller

(ah, how fun it is to write that!)

Here's the fabric for my dress:

Jesus Board Game

Since I'm a Bible teacher for preschoolers in at a Montessori school, when I make a new "work" for them I try to work within the the Montessori method, ideas, and model it after other Montessori works. This can be pretty tricky with Bible, which is filled with many abstract things that can be quite challenging to make concrete.

It is a board game of Jesus' ministry "Follow Me", but here is what I made over the weekend:

Today...

Today I started cutting out a dress for the wedding rehearsal. I'm not quite sure it was such a smart idea. I doubt I'll get it finished in time. It's a pretty simple dress pattern (Butterick 4443).

I'm making the yellow dress, but my fabric is white with a green flower print. I thought it would be appropriate for a wedding rehearsal for a wedding on St. Patrick's Day to have a white and green dress. I actually got the fabric long before we were engaged, perhaps even around last Easter when I was thinking I'd make my Easter dress (I ended up buying one from Old Navy). I originally wanted to make this dress (New Look 6587, the yellow one):

I decided not to make it, because I thought it would be a little more difficult on a few levels for me (or maybe just stressing). First of all, my sewing machine may very well be considered an antique (from the 60's) and I'd have to do a basting stitch and my tension falls everytime I try. And then, the last time I did something with button holes my button hole attachment was not functioning properly. It was pretty annoying. So, I figured I'd just go with the simple, easy pattern for this. Although I do think that it would have looked really cute with the fabric.



Today was also a day of realizations...that is realizing I forgot some important things. Like my brother's birthday today, my friend's birthday party last night, not to much rent that was due Thursday along with some other bills. I don't know...maybe it's just wedding brain. If I can even blame it on that. I mean I am getting married in 2 weeks!

The Ultimate Blog Party

I came across this a little while ago on one of my regular blogs (I think Biblical Womanhood), and then just ran across it again tonight while I was looking at Frugal Friday (even though it's still Thursday for me). So, I thought I'd join in even though I have one faithful reader (hi, April!) and sometimes reader (hi, Joe!), and then there's the once in a blue moon relative (hi, mom! hi, Granny!). I still thought it'd be fun to join in on and who knows maybe I'll meet somebody real cool *wink, wink*

If you come across this just by chance, then join in too! (See the link at the side.)

This makes me smile...

I came across this verse last night as I was flipping through my Bible looking for something else.

For example, there was God's promise to Abraham.

Since there was no one greater to swear by,

God took an oath in his own name, saying:

"I will certainly bless yo richly,

and I will multiply your descendants

into countless millions."

Hebrews 6:13-14, NLT

I think that's great, "since there was no one greater to swear by, God took an oath in his own name."

Read the rest of the chapter here.

I thought this was a good analogy for sin:

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When the Romeros got Sally as a family pet, she was one foot long. Eight years later, Sally had grown to eleven and a half feet. She weighed eighty pounds. Sally, the family pet, was a Burmese python. On July 20, 1993, she attacked fifteen-year-old Derek, strangling the teenager until he suffocated to death. The creature that had seemed so harmless was exposed as a deadly beast.
It reminds me of sin. It seems so harmless at first. It may play with us, sleep with us, or amuse us. But its nature never changes. The book of James tells us that “sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.”
Do you have some pet sin in your life? The best way to protect yourself is to confess it to God and turn from it. Remember: Sin will always rise up and devour those who befriend it.
With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Source: http://www.seekinghim.com/radio/today.php

Flowers, flowers everywhere!

Here are some flower pictures:

Joe's boutonniere

(the father's will be the same, except with a yellow rose)

Groomsmen boutonniere

An example of the mother's & grandmother's

(It's a little rough, the flowers were almost 5 days old by this time.)

Banquet Table Centerpiece

Banquet Table Centerpiece (expanded)

Aisle Decor

Aisle Decor (up-close)

Jessica's bouqet

Maddie with the bridesmaid bouqets

An up-close picture

Round Table Centerpiece - Variation 1

Round Table Centerpiece - Variation 2

Round Table Centerpiece - Variation 3

Bridal Shower Pictures!

Here are some pictures from my bridal shower last Saturday. The theme was a tea party and the ladies did such a wonderful job with it!

A surprise serenade from Robbie, a friend of mine's son.

This is Ann, my other matron-of-honor.

My mom and I

Gathering to pray

(the lady in the pink on the left is Karen, my soon to be sister-in-law & matron of honor)

(The lady on the right is Grandma Bernie, Joe's grandma.)

Me, my mom, & my sister

This is crazy...

China treats Internet ‘addicts’ sternly
Leaders see ‘a grave social problem’; treatment includes electric shocks

Read article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17251571/

While there's some truth to the fact that the Internet is addicting, some of these measures are too far.




(Oh, bridal shower pictures today!)

Tomorrow I plan to post some pictures from my bridal shower on Saturday and pictures of what the flowers (table decor & bouqets) will look like.

Stay tuned...

Valentine's Day

I just wanted to share with you some pictures from our Valentine's Day. I was running late for work that day and as I walked out of my front door on my door mat was a single pink rose and a poem. I didn't get to read it until I got in the car, but it was so cute. It definitely put a smile on my face.

Then as I got in my car to go home from work there was another single pink rose with a note that said there was a "warm treat and an open heart" awaiting for me at my apartment along with yet another poem.

When I got home Joe had made snickerdoodle cookies for me and a bouqet of flowers. He's becoming quite the cook lately, and the cookies were definitely tasty. We then went to an early dinner at Claim Jumper. (We've been trying happy hour at different restaurants since appeztizers are usually 1/2 off and big enough to be a meal.) Then we went onto youth group and finished our evening there. When I went to bed there was a final poem sitting by my alarm clock. Joe's so sweet and so good to me. He's quite creative too! Each poem was an acrostic that spelled out the word "love"!

Here's some pictures from our day:

Proverbs 31

My favorite podcast to listen to is Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh Demoss. I download the podcast from iTunes onto my iPod a few times a week and listen to it on my breaks, driving, etc. I really find it encouraging, edifying, heartfelt, and Biblicaly sound.

All this to say that Nancy is just starting a new series on Proverbs 31 called The Counter-Cultural Woman starting from the beginning of the chapter, which is rare on a study of Proverbs 31, going verse by verse. I just encourage you to listen along as Nancy talks about this chapter that is so important to women, no matter their position or station in life.

I plan to study it along with her. Look for some of my highlights at the end of the week.



You can read the transcripts from the series online:

from Monday, The Most Important Lesson - http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=9461

from Tuesday, Teaching by Example - http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=9462

from Wednesday, A Biblical View of Womanhood - http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=9463

You can also subscribe to the podcast here: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/podcast.php

Your kingdom come...

Something really awesome happened at church today. But before I get there, I need to back track in our church history.

A little over ten years ago, God really struck the heart of our pastor with His glory. Not simply just with the "to God be the glory" or "do everything for the glory of God," but with a passion that God's utmost passion is His own glory, thus our utmost passion should be God's glory. Since that time that vision of God's glory has driven our church. Our vision statement is

"Spreading a passion for God's glory for our homes to all peoples of the earth."

Part of spreading a passion for God's glory was to be a sending church, to have a missions focus, because isn't that really what God's kingdom is about? So, our church adopted an unreached people group named the Meitei's in a region in northern India called Manipur. That was ten years ago, since that time numerous teams have traveled to Manipur. This past fall we were blessed to no longer be able to call the Meitei's an unreached people group! They now have an established church that is sending natives to be missionaries to those that are still lost among their people. It's amazing!

Since our vision still stands to spread a passion for God's glory, our pastor and elders have been praying about what people group to adopt next. I was so excited when Pastor Joe started speaking this morning. He hadn't given a real hint that this was what was going to happen, but I leaned over to Joe and whispered, "We're getting a new people group!"

So, without further ado...New Hope Church has adopted TWO unreached people groups: the Oromo people of Ethopia and a people group in Turkmenistan. The Oromo , who make up about 40% of the country's population, live in S Ethiopia and are predominantly Muslim. There's more I'd love to say about them, because we had a pastor from Ethopia (a native) who in his years of ministry has planted more than a 1,000 churches in Ethopia. However, this area where the Oromo live have been off limits to an extent, because the Oromo are Muslim and have serverly perscuted the Ethopian Christians who have come to witness. Yet, when a group of Americans came on a missions trip the people came in hoards to see what they brought. Some even thanked them for bringing the Good News. It's interesting to see how God has blesses us to be Americans. He has opened a door for us to witness and be a part of His kingdom work by allowing us into this region when the natives can't even get in!

God has so blessed our church in being able to be involved in His missions work. We have families, individuals, and teams in our church who serve the Lord in Belize, Ukraine, Lithiunia, Jordan, Sudan, India, Azerbaijan, Ethopia, Uganda, and other countries in Central Asia.

I need to go to bed, but here are some verses that I wanted to leave you with:

Revelation 7:9-12

9 After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count,

from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues,

standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands;
10 and they cry out with a loud voice, saying,

"Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb."
11 And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures; and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God,
12 saying, "Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever Amen."

Wedding Countdown: 35 days

Well, the countdown is on! Only 35 days until Joe and I are married. Yeah! This is actually the first time since we've been engaged that I've counted the days. Sometimes it feels like it's coming so quick, and yet so far away...but all in good timing.

We sent our invitations out last Saturday and everyday this past week (starting on Monday) we've received RSVP cards, which has been fun. We've been lining them up as we get them.



Which makes me think, I should post a picture of our invitation too. We've been really blessed with all our wedding plans. A couple at our church have their own invitation business (www.divineink.com) they do from home and they gave us a $500 gift certificate for invitations, which was great. The Lord really has been blessing us in this process. Another lady in our church is making our cake (or rather cupcakes!) for free, because she's seen Joe grow up and was on staff at the church with his dad and friends with his mom. Of course, since we're having the wedding at the church we're not having to pay for tables, chairs, or a facility fee. We really are only having to pay for flowers, linens, some decorations, and my bridal attire.

For the most part, I'm having a good time. There are definitely ups and downs of planning a wedding. It definitely takes a lot of work when you're doing it without a planner and with lots of crafty projects, but I enjoy those things. I just have to learn moderation. My mom gave me some pretty good, but hard advice on that this week, "If it's causing you stress or anxiety, then you don't need it." My first response wanted to be "But, but...you don't understand. It has to look...xyz." I know it doesn't but it's that dream of what you're wedding will look like and trying to work toward that. It's especially hard (at least for me) to have wanted an outside wedding and our church sanctuary is basically a carpeted gym with a nice looking stage. Anyways...so the wedding countdown is on...

My bridal shower is this Saturday too, yeah! My mom and sister will be coming out. It should be fun. Hopefully, I'll do better with posting pictures and keeping you up to date on the wedding plans.

Everyone Wants to be a...

princess.

Working with children I am privy to the thoughts of three, four, and five-year-olds. It's always interesting to hear their thought process and reasoning. Sometimes even a blessing. Let me share with you what I learned yesterday.

I was working with a little three-year-old girl, Maddi (the littlest angel), and she just started talking about seemingly random things.

"Jesus loves me and God does too."

"You're right. Did you know that they're the same person?" I said.

"Uh huh," was her reply.

"Next year I taking swimming classes. My brother, Alex, him too. And I'll wear my swimming suit. And Alex he'll wear his swimming shorts. Mmhm."

"When I grow up I want to be a princess."

"Oh yeah, which princess do you like the most?"

"Cindrella."

"Why do you like Cinderella?"

"Because she's beautiful."

"What makes her beautiful, Maddi?"

"I don't know. She's just pretty." I think she might have mentioned something about her shiny dress. At this time another Jade, a four-year-old, piped up from across the room and said Cinderella was her favorite princess too. When I asked her why she also said, "Because she's beatiful." I asked Jade why she thought Cinderella was beautiful, "Because she's got shiny shoes."

(This is where it gets really cute.)

"I'm going to be a princess when I grow up."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah, Jesus is going to make me a princess when I grown-up."

"Maddi, Jesus can make you a princess now."

To which she replied, "Yeah, when I grow-up I'll be a princess."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That night at youth group, we doing an exercise on sharing our testimonies with the kids and having them share theirs in preparation for Mission Trip to Your Friends which kicks off Friday. After I shared my testimony one of my junior highers started to share hers. She was a bit nervous and didn't know where to start. We've been talking with the kids about when we share Christ to share out of our personal lives and how Christ has changed us, because ultimately when people hear and then see what Christ has done for us they'll be moved. Sharing a personal Christ is more powerful than simply sharing "Jesus died for you. Repent and be saved." Anyways, that's another topic for another day.

As she started sharing she began to cry. She was sharing how there are parental expectations on her (in regard to school) and that when she doesn't meet them she feels like she disappoints them and then turns inward on herself. She admitted to wanting to please people and is sad when she doesn't. She shared more, but in essence she struggles with her self-worth and identity.

She was wearing a shirt that said "I am a princess! My Father is the King of kings." I had her read her shirt to me and asked her if she believed that. She said yes. I asked her what she thought a princess was and she told me a princess was someone who was always happy and everything went right for her. I told her that a princess doesn't always have everything together. She's not always happy and things don't always go right, but she is confident in her position that the Father has given her. A princess knows where she stands, she knows her position in the Lord and is confident. We continued to talk and I had the opportunity to share with her more of my personal testimony and how Jesus began to reveal to me all the imagery in the Bible that refers to being a princess and that relationship with the Lord as Father and Jesus as our Beloved. It's powerful, and I believe every girl wants to be a princess.

Just like my junior higher, she didn't feel like a princess but she yearns to be that princess. I'm convinced that God planned things this way. That he put within us that desire to be loved, cherished, desired, beautiful, happy, and fulfilled. He placed that desire in our hearts from a very young age, just like Maddi and Jade, and events occur in our lives that taint the realization of our position as princesses. But the Lord knows, that desire is still within us, but it can only come to completion within Him.

The Glow of Beauty

Theres’s a thing that happens with little girls and women that turn them into something else entirely. I’ve seen it before, but I did not know how quickly the transformation occurs and how consistent the affect is among little girls and women.

I noticed it so dramatically two weeks before Christmas as I was trying costumes on the children for our school Christmas play. I had pulled Michelle, one of our older children, aside, try on Mary’s costume since the little girl who played Mary was absent and the two girls were similar heights. Michelle thought it was pretty, not the traditional sky blue we had used the year before. It wasn’t until I pulled out a long pink sheer scarf and began to drape it over her head, across her chest and tied it around her waist that the transformation occurred. Her little eyes grew smaller as her smile grew wider. She tilted her head in an all too natural way as her rosy cheeks turned just a shade darker. As I sat back I could see, she felt beautiful. Her face glowed, her mouth let out a little giggle and this little woman who is so precious felt beautiful. How such a little thing could change her countenance! A pink scarf. I knew I couldn’t take it away from her now.

I asked her, “Do you feel pretty?” She shyly nodded.

“You look beautiful. Do you want to wear this?” She nodded. “Okay, this will be your costume.”
It’s interesting how from so very young we crave beauty—in the things we make, how we act, and the way we look. Yet, because of the fall and our own sin we rarely see the glimpses of beauty and even less so do we feel it. We’ve littered our days with ways to make ourselves and our environments attractive—from throw pillows to hairstyles to how we place dinner on the table.

I can’t help but think that Michelle felt a taste of the Father’s love in those moments. He was lavishing [on] her. The beauty that He put in her when he originally made her. It is a magical and mysterious transformation.

A few days later it happened again with our youngest little angel. I was having the children try on their costumes so I could adjust the length. I had just finished with one angel when the bell rang to clean up and go outside. I quickly told Maddi, our youngest angel who had been patiently waiting her turn, we would do her costume the next day. Immediately, she burst into tears. She had eyed the costume long enough. The shiny white robe and the sparkly wings with eager anticipation and here I was taking it from her. Like with Michelle, I knew I couldn’t do that. So as the other children cleaned up and made their way outside I pinned the too big robe on Maddi. The same thing began to happen. It didn’t matter that the robe was too big. It was how she felt in it. Her smile was, of course, wide. Her little brown eyes sparkled as her little hands covered the giggles coming out of her mouth. She felt beautiful.

“Do you feel beautiful?” I asked, “It’s so pretty.”

I wanted to know why…what about just a plain white robe and white panty hose wings made her fell so pretty. So I did, and the only thing she said was, “It’s white.” The first thing I thought was “pure.” She felt beautiful.

We have this standard of beauty that equates to purity, no flaw. Something we see as beautiful does not need to be added to or fixed. It just is. And, oh! How we hardly get a taste of that beauty in ourselves. How we long to hear “My beautiful one, there is no flaw in you” (SS 4:7). Our souls, our minds, and our hearts long to hear those words. We see this pursuit not only in Christendom, but in the world at large. Mankind races to achieve something that cannot satisfy whether it be beauty, respect, admiration, or perfection. We live in a world that lacks true beauty, and we aren’t told we’re beautiful sincerely or nearly enough, but yet when we do we fly!

Like Michelle and Maddi our little hearts are met before the King and we not only feel beautiful, but treasured. It’s as if for that moment our status in the kingdom of God has come down to earth and we are recognized in our rightful role as a beautiful princess, and we glory in it! We are satisfied in the arms of our Creator who delights in beauty and we are satisfied when we delight in His. The root of our delight in beauty doesn’t come knowing that someone thinks we’re beautiful, it doesn’t come from pretty scarves or dresses, it doesn’t even come from a husband who dearly loves us and calls us beautiful. That glow, that transformation I saw in Maddi and Michelle comes from a Creator—the Beautiful One. He is where our beauty rests. Our souls are met in His arms. We are not beautiful simply because he created us with beautiful features or made us women. No, we are beautiful when we look to Him and are satisfied. That glow is our transformation. Our eyes get smaller and our cheeks turn a shade darker as our hands cover a little giggle, because we have found the waters that quench our thrist, the source of Life. We taste and we see, we raise our eyes to heaven and look toward the Beautiful One—it is there we are beautiful. Beauty is only natural when we look to our King. All else fades away as we are filled with the truth there is none more beautiful than the God who created us and the Son who saved us.

I'm Back...

S0, I haven't posted in five months, what can I say? I moved into an apartment, was training for my first 5k, then came the holidays, and of course there's wedding planning (only six weeks to go!).

I've missed blogging, but for the most part kept up with reading others blogs. I don't even know what exactly to write about right now. I'll figure it out soon enough. There's been plenty of things I've came across that I thought, 'Oh, that'd be good to blog about.' I just need to get back into it. Although I can't guarantee any consistent blogging, I am getting married in six weeks :) I'm going to try. So yes. Be prepared all you bloggers that are browsing or not browsing, perhaps not even reading. That's okay. I'm having fun by myself.

Entitlements: Let’s Get Real

Here are some basic entitlements that will hinder our growth1:

- I have the right to say “no” to God.
- I grow best when everything I want is in order, if those things are absent, I cannot grow.
- I have the right to express my feelings, especially if I determine I have been wrongly treated or inadequately rewarded.
- I have the right to use my time in whatever way I choose.

Here are some basic entitlements that will stunt or eliminate our growth1:

- I have the right to choose who I will talk to.
- I have the right to be critical.
- I need to have a position that is very visible.
- When it comes to discipline, I choose when to reward myself.
- I will do it as soon as other conditions are met.

Don’t be fooled if you look at this list and think, “That’s not me.” We all have some form of entitlement at some level the Lord would love to rid us of. If we think we’re free from entitlements, then we’re fooling ourselves. Oftentimes entitlements are rooted deep within our thought processing and actions. We might not even realize they’re there until we search out for them!

Don’t be afraid to look into your own life and ask God to search your heart—and be completely open to what He will reveal! It’s not shameful to have sin revealed, and then be able to confess the sin. It’s actually very freeing and allows God more access into our lives. Just think of it this way, when sin is revealed and confessed we get a greater portion of God! Now, why wouldn’t we want that?

1 You can find more about entitlements in the Freedom Resource Manual published by Revalesio.

The Cost of Following Christ – Part 2

Entitlements are a deadly force to the Christian life. They halt growth, hinder the kingdom of God, and are self-focused about what I want or need. When you strip away all the excuses, reasons, and self that form entitlements what you find is actually rebellion. We are in a sanctifying process growing up to be like Christ. God uses life and circumstances to bring that about. The Lord brings situations into our lives that will test our strength, perseverance, faith, and obedience.

When we allow entitlements to enter that sanctifying process we hinder the work of the Lord in us. We hinder our growth. In essence, we stop pursuing God and working for his kingdom work and turn in the other direction. I once had a pastor say that if you’re not working for God, then you’re working for the enemy. I don’t think any of us want to align ourselves with Satan, however when we allow him to speak lies of entitlements in our lives and then we embrace those entitlements and walk in them we are doing nothing but aligning our self with Satan. If we don’t want to be promoting the wrong kingdom, we must resolve to rid ourselves of those hindrances.

The functioning base of entitlements is that we put limits on what God can ask of us. I think we’d all agree that it is fundamentally wrong for us to tell the Lord what He can or can’t ask of us. What if Abraham had told God it would have been too much to leave his home? What if Esther said, “It’s too risky. I could die”? What if Ruth had stayed in Moab? What if Moses had said, “I can’t go back there?” What if Hosea refused to take back Gomer again and again? What if Joseph said, “But she’s already pregnant?” What if Paul said, “But people will call me a hypocrite?” Aren’t we glad to have a legacy of obedient saints to look to? Each one gave up their own control, fear, and desires to follow the Lord and do what he asked. Don’t forget, each of them was also blessed! Giving up our entitlements does not mean that our lives will be horrible or God will constantly ask things that seem overwhelmingly difficult for us to do.

Look at Moses, God told him to raise up his arms (or was it his staff) over the Red Sea so the people could cross. He could have said, “God this is a ridiculous idea! You want me to hold up my arms so that all the Israelites can pass? How long will that take? Don’t you know we’re being chased down by the Egyptians?” Moses knew God. He knew God, because he had been obedience to God. He trusted God. He wasn’t afraid of the task the Lord might ask of him, he knew that if God asked and he obeyed then it would be good. God had built in him faith and trust through Moses’ previous experiences. But if Moses had held onto his own ways (entitlements), then the outcome would have been drastically different. The same is for us. God will ask us to do things or give up certain things that we feel will be uncomfortable, hard, or even impossible, but they are not. If we follow in obedience and give up our entitlements we will be blessed, and more importantly we will be growing the kingdom and bringing glory to God! Amen.

In the next few days, I'll be adding some more practical application of what entitlements look like and how to pursue ridding them from our lives. Remember, that entitlements aren't just a hindrance to God's work, but they also hinder the freedom and joy that God designed us to live in. Trust God, pursue freedom.

Galatians 5:1, NIV

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves

be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Jane Austen prays...

I finally got around to reading some of the "Prayers" in Sandition the last few days. I wanted to leave a few lines that I found particularly encouraging.

"Thou art every where present, from thee no secret can be hid. May hte knowledge of this, teach us to fix our thoughts on thee, with reverence and devotion that we pray not in vain."

"Teach us to understand the sinfulness of our own hearts."

"Give us a thankful sense of the blessings in which we live. "

"Above all other blessings oh! God, for ourselves and our fellow-creatures, we implore thee to quicken our sense of thy mercy in the redemption of the world."

Twenty Minutes a Day

In college I was an English major. Growing up I was the kid who was put to bed reading, then when mom came to turn off the light I'd get the flashlight out. When mom came to get the flashlight I'd go sit by the window and read from the light of the moon. I love reading, but it seems over the last year I really haven't read that much. I always felt like I didn't have enough time to read or I wanted to read too many books and just couldn't do it. Over the summer I was encouraged back into reading with a reading plan from the girltalk ladies. It's really quite simple: start with only twenty minutes a day.

My first reaction was that wasn't enough time to actually finish a book any time soon. But look at the "statistics" of a 20-minute a day reading habit as told by John Piper,
“One of the most helpful discoveries I have made is how much can be read in disciplined blocks of twenty minutes a day. Suppose that you read slowly, say about 250 words a minute (as I do). This means that in twenty minutes you can read about five thousand words. An average book has about four hundred words to a page. So you could read about twelve-and-a-half pages in twenty minutes. Suppose you discipline yourself to read a certain author or topic twenty minutes a day, six days a week, for a year. That would be 312 times 12.5 pages for a total of 3,900 pages. Assume that an average book is 250 pages long. This means you could read fifteen books like that in one year.”

Fifteen books in a year! That's more books than I can think of wanting to read right now. Although, I'm sure if I thought about it long enough I'd find fifteen books to read. Carving out twenty minutes in my day is much more manageable (and relaxing) than being frustrated by having so many books I want to read, but no time. So, over the summer my fiancee and I began reading twenty minutes a day, but after a while we waned. Finally, this week I started to get back into my twenty minutes routine. It's been really good and refreshing.

Which leads me to where I am today. I was reading Biblical Womanhood blog, and was looking at the list of books for her fall reading challenge and was inspired to make my own list.

So far I'm in the midst of beginning (and finishing)

In Pursuit of His Glory by Gerry Fry
Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leight De Moss
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
Let the Nations Be Glad! by John Piper
Sandition and other Stories by Jane Austen
The Magican's Nephew by C. S. Lewis
Miracles by C. S. Lewis

Hopefully, I'll carve some time out later to say a thing or two about each of these. What's on your reading list this fall? Leave a comment and let me know. Happy Reading!

The Cost of Following Christ

Since I've been dealing with entitlements lately, I started studying the topic and since I process things better when I regurgitate it. So, here it is...

There is a cost in following Christ. He calls us to leave everything behind in pursuit of following him in our obedience. Through our life we pick up bad habits, ideas, and lies from the world that there are certain things we have earned or deserved. But, truly, we deserve nothing. We were born into sin, corrupted and enemies of God. We were saved from death and the judgment of God. There’s no way around it, we deserve death apart from Christ. Through the mercies of the Lord, we were saved. A way has been made for our reconciliation to God through Christ. The only catch is that to pursue Christ we must give up anything and everything we possess and attain. We must abandon ourselves to His will, so that he may freely work in our lives for His kingdom’s glory. The cost seems insignificant compared to the pit of hell, and yet we struggle with relinquishing our self, possessions, families, and achievements to God.

We must face the truth that “rights mean nothing in the pursuit of Christ” (Jesus-Ministry 2, 3). Entitlements occur in our life when we pick and choose which areas we will obey God. A person walking in entitlements “looks at the cost of following Jesus, and is unwilling to give up certain areas of life to Christ” (Freedom Resource Manual, 69).

Jesus demands that those who follow him give up everything or they cannot go with him. Look at Luke 9:57-62, Jesus meets three different men. The first one tells Jesus that he “will follow you wherever you go” (v. 57) and Jesus’ reply is that the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. Jesus’ first demand is to give up the entitlement of comfort. He was a traveling miracle-worker; he had no guarantee for a hot meal and a comfy bed to come home to at night. The next man Jesus tells, “Follow me.” The man replies, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus’ response was not the typical sympathic remark we might have expected. Jesus responds, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

The second entitlement we must give up to follow Christ is our time. The Jesus didn’t ask this man to consider following him, he gave a direct command. Jesus gave a similar command when he called his disciples and they left everything and followed him. It’s also interesting to note that Jesus “you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” This man was thinking of his own needs and Jesus was focused on his mission: proclaiming the kingdom of God. When we try to tell God when we will work for him or what times are convenient for us, we are trying to pull the reins of control. When we choose to follow Christ we gave up our right to control when God directs us to work for his purpose. Our time is the Lord’s and our focus should always be for His glory, His kingdom work.

The third man approaches Jesus saying, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family” (Lk. 9:61). Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Lk. 9:62). Having no rights before the throne of God is serious business. Jesus is very clear here that if we are holding back, if we put conditions on our following Christ then we are not fit to serve His kingdom. Jesus is calling us unworthy to even serve, to even be lowly for the kingdom of God if we do not give up everything!

The third entitlement we must give up is our service. We must relinquish “picking and choosing whether or not to serve, and the where and how of service” (Jesus-Ministry 2, 75). This man put conditions on his service to God. He had the desire to serve and follow Christ, but he was not yet ready to be extreme for Christ. He was not yet ready to throw everything away to follow Christ. Yes, we must even give up our hold over our family in following Christ. It is a cost some are not willing to give up, but if we don’t then we lose the greatest prize of all—the kingdom of God! When the man uttered that conjunction “but” he was putting limitations of what the Lord could ask of him. Is it too much for the Lord to ask us to leave behind all of our family—our most precious commodity—for Him? Did he not give up his only Son for the least of the world? If God is not entitled to save His very own Son, then we are not entitled to even our family.

This morning I'm battling with some entitlements of my time. Basically, I'm just not feeling like going to work. I'd rather sleep in, read a book, sew, scrapbook, or just sit around. My attitude is just a little blah...not feeling up to much. So, yeah...I know I'll push through it and obviously go to work and do my job, but when I'm like this I just don't care to be there and I don't like that feeling. I've prayed "it's not my time, it's yours Lord," but I can feel my heart is still in that position of me. It's control. So, today I'm relinquishing all to the Lord (it'll probably happen quite a few times), but I'll choose to say, "all of me for the sake of others." If I want to be a servant of Christ, I cannot forsake being a servant of others and what that means is I have to be a servant as Christ was a servant. Having no rights, making myself willingly lowly without excuse and allow others to be better than myself.

Romans 6:7-8, NASB
for he who has died is freed from sin;
Now if we have died with Christ,
we believe that we also shall live with Him.

"The knowledge that Christ and we with him in the likeness of His death, are dead to sin, is indispensable to our sanctification."
Andrew Murray (Like Christ, p. 76)

That indispensable knowledge is what keeps us from being hopeless. We are like Christ in His death: dead to sin.

"This passage is the foundation as well as the key to the possibility of a ‘walk in the Spirit.’"
Lewis Sperry Chafer (He That Is Spiritual, p. 154)

Knowing and understanding our sin dead in our identification with Christ frees us to walk in the Spirit. We no longer have to worry or be apprehensive to wondering and worrying about sinning. Count yourself dead to sin; believe it—because you are! Step out in faith. When Christ sees you He doesn’t see a child bound in sin, but alive and looking to the cross for confidence and assurance of faith. Sin is no longer master, but Christ!

"By faith, the believer reckons (counts) himself ‘dead unto sin’ (Rom. 6:3-14)."
Alexander R. Hay (New Testament Order for Church & Missionary, p. 310)

Our position of identification in being dead to sin is not something to strive for or learn, but only to accept it. Christ already did the work. Our sin, our old self is already dead. We don’t have to crucify ourselves.

"If the difference between ‘Christ dying for us,’ and ‘our dying with Him,’ has not been recognized, acknowledged, and applied, it may safely be affirmed that the self is still the dominating factor in the life."
J. Penn-Lewis (Memoir, p. 26)

When we don’t believe and don’t accept ‘our dying with Him’ we are saying no to the totality of the cross of Christ. We are in essence, and in fact, telling Jesus that His death may have saved us from our past sins and from eternal damnation, but that His death was not full enough to save us from the day to day struggle with sin. Self still rules that life, because pride stands in the way to fully accept Christ’s work for us. It may seem a humble attitude of "No, Lord, that’s too much for me. You’ve already given me so much," or "I can’t do it. The yoke of sin is too tight. Lord, I can’t take it off." Those excuses (which are also lies) spit in the face of our glorious Redeemer, Christ!

He didn’t simply die to save us from punishment for our sins, but He died to save us from death and sin! It is because of His death that sin has no mastery over us! The work on the cross and ‘our dying with Him’ are one in the same. They didn’t happen separately, they coexist. And, we can only truly live free when we accept by faith that Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins and freed us from the power of sin, since sin is death and death no longer has power over Christ, sin also has no real power in us as believers. Our identification is not something we must strive for, but something we already possess as believers the second Christ is acknowledged as our Lord.

Just had a thought on spiritual warfare:

If you know that someone is going to try to steal from you today, you’re going to be on the offense, right? So should it be with your spiritual warfare.

I’m ready to take ground. I’m tired of merely fighting the strongholds of fear, self-reliance, hopelessness, victimization, and control. I want to live in newness of life, not a constant battle to stay afloat. I want to take back more and more ground that the enemy has stolen. I want to live, operate, walk, and minister in my original design without any doubt or apprehension.

I want to be free from sin! And I want to live in that freedom daily. I want to live in that freedom daily. I want to walk in continued joyful obedience–never tiring of the fight, continually encouraged by the progress. I want to live with hope in the midst, to see everything through the eyes of hope.

I want to see God’s purposes for me to come to fulfillment. Not simply holding out with a despairing hope, but waiting with excitement and seeing the fulfillment coming over the horizon.
I am desperate and I need You, Lord, set Your hope before my eyes and Your continued loving kindness in my heart. I want to be like You.

Romans 6:7, NLT
For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.

August 31, 2006

I am...

- uniquely designed - open hearted - pleasing to God - deep desire to follow Him - free-spirited - thoughtful - carefree - solid/stability - standing firm - molded for a specific call, a specific ministry since girlhood - wisdom of the ages - wise beyond her years - created to bring joy and fund to those around - joyful - happy-go-lucky - adventuresome - bold - fearless - diligent - bringer of joy - healer - His brightness shines all around you - inner joy - minister of freedom - spreads God’s love like butter on dry toast - sanctified n - a valuable ruby, much refining and precious cutting resulting in a display of God’s beauty for the world to see - open heart - willing spirit - brave - eager for more of God - contentment - peaceful - helpful - humble - tenderness - gentle - God’s prize possession - fun-loving - wisdom beyond her years - smart - "joy of the Lord is in her," this is your strength - servant/servant’s heart - He has made you to be courageous - your hands will be used mightily as a strong, powerful, fierce, woman warrior - joyful - contagious joy - peace - comforter to others - full of the Father’s hope - confident - secure in following God’s desires, ways - this joy comes from her faith and security in Him - faithful - great things in Your name done through her - bold - passionate - tender - marching forward - hard-working - perseverer - strong - suited for war - warrior - advance the good news - mercy - compassion - prayer warrior - woman of truth - servant of the young - playful spirit - peaceful soul - faithful - humble - goes with the flow easily - lover of God - wants to please Him - dancer - worshiper - compassionate toward others - caring - striver of purity - passionate - compassionate - companion - gentle spirit - deep thinker - discerning - loyal - trustworthy - bold and beautiful heart - a large heart so full it’s overflowing with His love and I can’t contain it. It spills over to any I come in contact with and all are being covered with His love. - mentor of women - restorer of women - life giver - tender - compassionate - loving - full of joy - bold and confident - amazed at the things of God - worshiper - "Sound of Music," field of flowers - beautiful free spirit - sun shining on me - a spirit of warmth - compassion - unassuming - reaching up to God for his revelation in your life - desire to be obedient to your "daddy" - confidence - sharing your life with others - fervent prayer - walk in joy - I bring a ray of sunshine & splash of life to others

Unfading Beauty

Grace was in all her steps,

heaven in her eye, in every gesture

dignity and love.

- John Milton

Inner Beauty...it is a gift and it radiates much more than a pretty face. When you stop worrying about your outward appearance, your inner beauty shines through. In the past few months I've felt my inner beauty radiate. You have to let God mold you into what He wants you to be. And as that happens you find you are much more comfortable with yourself and you don't feel as insecure around people. Right now, what God is teaching me about inner beauty is to be strong in Him and to trust in Him because he will take care of you and everything else will fall into place in His will and timing. To just take peace in Him and then His glory and beauty will radiate through you, the closer you get to Him in a relationship.



Summer 2002. Topic: What is God teaching you about inner beauty?, from Fearlessly Feminine by Jani Ortlund).

Yesterday my man made an illustration that is worth noting here. We were talking about waiting. In particular waiting for that time when a certain someone will get down on his knee and ask me to marry him. Since I won't be doing the asking, I have no idea when it will happen. No pressure, of course; it's all in God's timing.

But I do often struggle with the question of "when?." I ask it perhaps too often, to myself, to him...But I want to know. I want to know that it will happen. I want to know when I get to be his wife and he gets to be my husband. I long for that day. I hope for it. I eagerly await its arrival. And so I often ask when it will happen.

We were having this discussion yesterday when he quickly turned the conversation in another direction. He compared the waiting we have before we are married to the waiting we, as the Bride of Christ, have in waiting for Christ our Bridegroom to come and take us away with him to our eternal home. We wait. We want to know when it's going to come. We ask, "Please make it soon!" We desire to see the Lover of our Souls and to be made complete in Him.

This waiting period is an image of the Church eagerly awaiting the marriage of the Son and the Bride. It will happen. We know that, but we don't know when or exactly how...but we know that it will happen. That's what we can put our trust in, the Lord's word to bring us to completion and join us in marriage with His Son and our holy Lover, Christ.

(Funny as he is, my man did jokingly point out that I have a better understanding of what it feels like to wait for marriage though.)

Still reading The Ragamuffin Gospel

"When our inner child is not nurtured and nourished, our minds gradually close to new ideas, unprofitable commitments, and the surprises of the Spirit. Evangelical faith is bartered for cozy, comfortable piety. A failure of nerve and an unwillingness to risk distorts God into a Bookkeeper and the gospel of grace is swapped for the security of religious bondage."

Brennan Manning

Psalm 36:5-11

5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
7 How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men

find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house;

you give them drink from your river of delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.
10 Continue your love to those who know you,

your righteousness to the upright in heart.
11 May the foot of the proud not come against me,

nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.

A Godly Man

Psalm 112

1Praise the LORD.

Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,

who finds great delight in his commands.
2 His children will be mighty in the land;

the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,

and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,

for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,

who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.
7 He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,

his righteousness endures forever;

his horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,

he will gnash his teeth and waste away;

the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Words from "The Ragamuffin Gospel"

I started reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning today, and here's an excerpt and thought I wanted to share:

"Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hands (Revelation 7:9), I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Kat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two-year-old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually-abused teen, molested by his father and now selling his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last 'trick,' whispers the name of an unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust and raped the earth.
"But how?" we ask. Then the voice says, "They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
There they are. There we are---the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all clung to the faith.
My friends, if this is not good news to you, you have never understood the gospel of grace."
- The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning (Ch. 1 - Something is Radically Wrong, p. 32-33)

When reading this I got the sense that people are afraid to see this gospel. They would shutter at the lives of those desparately seeking grace, all the while not realizing their own desparate need for grace. This is the realness of the gospel. Grace is for the dirty.

The Language of God's Word

Lamentations 3:57-58

You drew near when I called on You;

You said, "Do not fear! O Lord,

You have pleaded my soul's cause;

You have redeemed my life.

I was reading this morning in Lamentations 3 and I love the syntax God uses in this passage. The writer is speaking the truth of what he knows about God's goodness and character in neediness knowing that God will provide. I love in verse 58 how he knows God has pleaded his soul's cause. That God has argued and made an emotional appeal for his soul. God is emotional about our souls. Isn't that an awing and humbling fact? And, the Lord has redeemed his life from the lowest pit. The Lord has saved him from sin and error, amended his wrongs; in essence He has bought his freedom. It's beautiful language only made more beautiful knowing that it is truth.

Where has the innocence gone?

Apparently, some executive only saw dollars signs when deciding to make this toy. It's a ridculious idea that a toy company would try to market a carabet group as dolls to 6-year-olds!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/26/business/main1659192.shtml

Proverbs 31:10

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

She is worth more than precious rubies

I was reading Proverbs 31 on the virtuous woman this morning and before I even finished verse 10 this thought struck me: There are men out there looking for a woman who is virtuous and capable to be his wife.
I know this sounds quite simplistic, but how special it feels to realize when a man has found you--either married you, is pursuing you, or has stated his intentions--he finds you to be a virtuous and capable woman to be his wife.
It's then that the latter part of the verse makes sense, "She is more precious than rubies." How special that woman feels to know she is cherished so.

God gave kids wisdom...

Today on the playground the kids were making ditches to keep them safe from tornadoes (because we're learning about weather this month), and one little girl said the tornado was going to be really bad because it was from Lucifer. I quickly chimed in and reminded her that God's the one who makes the tornadoes. "Oh yeah!" was the answer in reply.

Then a few minutes later I heard the word "Buddha" pop up and for some background clarity all of these children are Chinese. So I was definitely interested to hear how they would talk about Buddha. Then, one little girl--who is quite in tune spiritually--spoke out, "We shouldn't follow Buddha because he is not the truth." Amen! She continued, "Jesus is the truth, and we want to follow him." Woo hoo!

Next a another little girl said, "Yeah, Buddha can't hear us."
When another girl chimed in, "And he doesn't give us food."

Amen!

To anyone who's ever said or thought that children don't understand "spiritual things" let me tell you: there is no Junior Holy Spirit.

(Thanks to Caril and my church for always emphasizing and teaching our children with that point.)

I wish there was a way I could describe you to the world
To share the wonderfulness of you
the man you are to me,
the innate goodness our Creator has bestowed in His mercies
To display it before the world
for all to see and know,
the wonderfulness of my man
his character,
his cause,
his loyalty,
his affection,
his perseverance

You are so much more than I can speak of

My heart is filled.

Five months ago...

There was once a hope, a quiet whisper of longing and waiting. When suddenly and quite unexpectantly, a circle of light [light in the light of love] enthroned the princess, and that once quiet whisper sprang forth from hope to greet her with a gentle kiss. And so, a new journey begins...

Five months ago this started...five months ago today. The time has pasted so quickly, and yet there seems a million memories and growth spurts in between! Five months...some may laugh at that, but we're building and we're investing. We are laying a sure foundation. This journey we are on, my darling, I wouldn't let it go for the world. Sometimes it seems to long, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm here with you...living and learning and growing and delighting.

When I read what I wrote five months ago, I smile because that once quiet hope of a whisper is full grown into the reality that we are moving ahead to meet that hope of a life together. And I love it so!

And so, the journey continues.

This is still so true...and I hope it always will...

Radiantly Glowing
12/26/05

Smiles are interesting things, once you get to know them. A true smile, that is. I was watching the princess as she conversed with her valiant warrior, and it seems to me that he is the tool that lights her face. Hmm...it's an interesting thing.

Smiling.

It shows such pleasure, such delight. The eyes begin to sparkle, and you know it's a real smile when the eyes begin to scrunch up and then disappear. The beauty of a smile? When it can't be helped. When the person, like the princess, tries to keep the smile down, but can't as the corners of the lips continue to turn up. It's then that joy radiants and their skin begins to glow...no need of a bronzer. It's all natural.

Can I say just one thing? The princess is under that spell every time she talks to her warrior, every time she sees him or hears his voice. She lights up in a smile that can't be helped.

...the most beautiful kind there is.

Darn those rabbits!

Rabbits ate my sunflower seedlings today. I'm not too happy with them. I started off with nine little seedlings, then four succumbed to either crows or the gardener's weedwacker (the verdict hasn't come in on that one yet) and now I have four half-eaten, nibbled on, and wilted little plants. Oh, and out of all the flowers I planted I wanted my sunflowers to grow the most!

Psalm 128

How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD,

Who walks in His ways.

When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands,

You will be happy and it will be well with you.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

Within your house,

Your children like olive plants

Around your table.

Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed

Who fears the LORD.

The LORD bless you from Zion,

And may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

Indeed, may you see your children's children

Peace be upon Israel!

Love is the perfect bond of unity. Can anything exist and survive without love? Is there any existence without love?

Let us love one another, because love is from God ( 1 Jn. 4:7). Through Christ's humility the love of God was manifested in us, in that we live through Him (1 Jn. 4:9). And my dear brethren, we did not love because we knew what love was or how to love, no we love because our Lord sent His Son to die as the sacrifice for the deeds we had done (1 Jn. 4:10). And this is true: if we love one another God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us...it runs its full course into maturity (1 Jn. 4:12). There is no fear in love--no dread or anxieties--but love, the kind that is full-grown, complete, grounded in Christ, turns fear out and expels every trace of terror (1 Jn. 4:18). The idea of fear in love shows that the love who fears is not yet made complete, because fear [in love] has to do with punishment and those who fear in love have not yet reached their full maturity in love (1 Jn. 4:18).

What is love? What is the sacrifice of love? When you give in love do you give in the abundance which you have stored up, (essentially) saving some for yourself? Or do you give everything, even to your last penny that you had to live on? Which is the sacrifice of love? (Mk. 12:41-44)

Is there any greater topic, any greater discussion in the world than that of love? Love that which our Perfect Divine has so graciously blessed us with and given us the faculities to love the same...

Love is refining...it is defining. When we love truest and purest, love covers a multitude of sins (Prov. 10:12). Our Lord delights in love unchanging (Mic. 7:18)...love that is pure, unselfish, giving, a reflection of His very own compassion and ceased anger toward us. He showed this display of love in Christ, and tells us that in the same way, God demonstrated His love for us that while we were sinners Christ died for us (Ro. 5:8), inasmuch greater love has no one than this: to lay down his life for his friend (Jn. 15:13).

Pursue love (1 Cor. 14:11). Above all else, love one another, love the Father, love your neighbor, love yourself, love your wife, love your husband. Feverently love one another out of the purity of your heart (1 Pe. 1:22). If we have not love then our living has sounded like an annoying, useless noisy gong or clanging cymbal (1 Cor. 13:1). So then, put on love.

If you have the gift of prophecy and know the mysteries and knowledge, but no love then it is worthless. If your have faith to move mountains, but no love, then you are nothing. If you give all you have to the poor and offer yourself as a sacrifice, but still no love...then all of that profits you nothing (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

Love is great...beyond great. It is the pinnacle of all living, it is the mark of a full life. Love is beauty, and beauty is truth. And as Keats has said that's all you need and all you need to know. Life is summed up in all its majestic forms and paths in one overused and misunderstood four-letter word: LOVE.

So, take note:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.


Now take hope with you...

Love never fails.

Know this and know love. Live this and live love.

Love is as strong as death...
many waters cannot quench love, neither can
floods drown it.
Song of Songs 8:6a, 7a