Psalm 45:10-11, 13-15

Listen to me, O royal daughter; take heart to what I say. Forget your people and your homeland far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. [...] The bride, a princess, waits within her chambers, dressed in a gown woven with gold. In her beautiful robes, she is led to the king, accompanied by her bridesmaids. What a joyful, enthusiastic procession as they enter the king's palace!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Lord, my troubles consume me and my enemies overwhelm me...and I know I have nothing but You...and that is so hard at times...mostly when I’m struggling. My desires oppose me and each other. I struggle because I feel worthless without being able to align myself with some cause or purpose...something that will give me some kind of status in the world’s eye and the church’s eye as well. There’s a lie that says I’m different, that I don’t have enough, or the same things as others...but maybe I’m not...

Maybe you’re just taking me back to my original state...the way You designed me and intended me to be. It seems You just keep stripping and stripping away...and taking and taking everything I had to stand on and everything I thought I was and everything that gave me a position in the world. Maybe that is necessary, Lord. (I think I’m beginning to see that it really is.) Sometimes it feels like You’re doing it out of spite...maybe I was too proud or too consumed with what I could do on my own...or at least that’s how I feel when I think about it sometimes.
But I’m beginning to see that You are stripping away the hindrances...You’re stripping away the things that make me not the creation You designed and the things that make me not like You. It’s simple, really. It’s purifying. Painful. Yes, very painful...but necessary.

There is one thing I seem to always forget: hope. These months and weeks and years of stripping away the filth and the striving and the fears are for a better thing. Honestly, I know that...but it’s so hard to see life in that better place called hope when all I’ve ever been and known (even if it’s not my true state) is slowly being taken away. But hope!
Life my eyes up to the heavens! Where does my help come from? My help comes from You, Maker of Heaven...Creator of the Earth!

Oh, how I need You, Lord...You are my only Hope...You are my only I will wait for You to come and rescue come and give me life.

Lord, You are giving me new painful as it is, You’re giving me new life. (Maybe this is what the crucified life is.)

My hope: Christ in me, the hope of glory.

My hope is the promise of new life.

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