Unfading Beauty

Grace was in all her steps,

heaven in her eye, in every gesture

dignity and love.

- John Milton

Inner Beauty...it is a gift and it radiates much more than a pretty face. When you stop worrying about your outward appearance, your inner beauty shines through. In the past few months I've felt my inner beauty radiate. You have to let God mold you into what He wants you to be. And as that happens you find you are much more comfortable with yourself and you don't feel as insecure around people. Right now, what God is teaching me about inner beauty is to be strong in Him and to trust in Him because he will take care of you and everything else will fall into place in His will and timing. To just take peace in Him and then His glory and beauty will radiate through you, the closer you get to Him in a relationship.



Summer 2002. Topic: What is God teaching you about inner beauty?, from Fearlessly Feminine by Jani Ortlund).

Yesterday my man made an illustration that is worth noting here. We were talking about waiting. In particular waiting for that time when a certain someone will get down on his knee and ask me to marry him. Since I won't be doing the asking, I have no idea when it will happen. No pressure, of course; it's all in God's timing.

But I do often struggle with the question of "when?." I ask it perhaps too often, to myself, to him...But I want to know. I want to know that it will happen. I want to know when I get to be his wife and he gets to be my husband. I long for that day. I hope for it. I eagerly await its arrival. And so I often ask when it will happen.

We were having this discussion yesterday when he quickly turned the conversation in another direction. He compared the waiting we have before we are married to the waiting we, as the Bride of Christ, have in waiting for Christ our Bridegroom to come and take us away with him to our eternal home. We wait. We want to know when it's going to come. We ask, "Please make it soon!" We desire to see the Lover of our Souls and to be made complete in Him.

This waiting period is an image of the Church eagerly awaiting the marriage of the Son and the Bride. It will happen. We know that, but we don't know when or exactly how...but we know that it will happen. That's what we can put our trust in, the Lord's word to bring us to completion and join us in marriage with His Son and our holy Lover, Christ.

(Funny as he is, my man did jokingly point out that I have a better understanding of what it feels like to wait for marriage though.)

Still reading The Ragamuffin Gospel

"When our inner child is not nurtured and nourished, our minds gradually close to new ideas, unprofitable commitments, and the surprises of the Spirit. Evangelical faith is bartered for cozy, comfortable piety. A failure of nerve and an unwillingness to risk distorts God into a Bookkeeper and the gospel of grace is swapped for the security of religious bondage."

Brennan Manning

Psalm 36:5-11

5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
7 How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men

find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house;

you give them drink from your river of delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.
10 Continue your love to those who know you,

your righteousness to the upright in heart.
11 May the foot of the proud not come against me,

nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.

A Godly Man

Psalm 112

1Praise the LORD.

Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,

who finds great delight in his commands.
2 His children will be mighty in the land;

the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,

and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,

for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,

who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.
7 He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,

his righteousness endures forever;

his horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,

he will gnash his teeth and waste away;

the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Words from "The Ragamuffin Gospel"

I started reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning today, and here's an excerpt and thought I wanted to share:

"Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hands (Revelation 7:9), I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Kat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two-year-old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually-abused teen, molested by his father and now selling his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last 'trick,' whispers the name of an unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust and raped the earth.
"But how?" we ask. Then the voice says, "They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
There they are. There we are---the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all clung to the faith.
My friends, if this is not good news to you, you have never understood the gospel of grace."
- The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning (Ch. 1 - Something is Radically Wrong, p. 32-33)

When reading this I got the sense that people are afraid to see this gospel. They would shutter at the lives of those desparately seeking grace, all the while not realizing their own desparate need for grace. This is the realness of the gospel. Grace is for the dirty.

The Language of God's Word

Lamentations 3:57-58

You drew near when I called on You;

You said, "Do not fear! O Lord,

You have pleaded my soul's cause;

You have redeemed my life.

I was reading this morning in Lamentations 3 and I love the syntax God uses in this passage. The writer is speaking the truth of what he knows about God's goodness and character in neediness knowing that God will provide. I love in verse 58 how he knows God has pleaded his soul's cause. That God has argued and made an emotional appeal for his soul. God is emotional about our souls. Isn't that an awing and humbling fact? And, the Lord has redeemed his life from the lowest pit. The Lord has saved him from sin and error, amended his wrongs; in essence He has bought his freedom. It's beautiful language only made more beautiful knowing that it is truth.

Where has the innocence gone?

Apparently, some executive only saw dollars signs when deciding to make this toy. It's a ridculious idea that a toy company would try to market a carabet group as dolls to 6-year-olds!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/26/business/main1659192.shtml

Proverbs 31:10

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

She is worth more than precious rubies

I was reading Proverbs 31 on the virtuous woman this morning and before I even finished verse 10 this thought struck me: There are men out there looking for a woman who is virtuous and capable to be his wife.
I know this sounds quite simplistic, but how special it feels to realize when a man has found you--either married you, is pursuing you, or has stated his intentions--he finds you to be a virtuous and capable woman to be his wife.
It's then that the latter part of the verse makes sense, "She is more precious than rubies." How special that woman feels to know she is cherished so.

God gave kids wisdom...

Today on the playground the kids were making ditches to keep them safe from tornadoes (because we're learning about weather this month), and one little girl said the tornado was going to be really bad because it was from Lucifer. I quickly chimed in and reminded her that God's the one who makes the tornadoes. "Oh yeah!" was the answer in reply.

Then a few minutes later I heard the word "Buddha" pop up and for some background clarity all of these children are Chinese. So I was definitely interested to hear how they would talk about Buddha. Then, one little girl--who is quite in tune spiritually--spoke out, "We shouldn't follow Buddha because he is not the truth." Amen! She continued, "Jesus is the truth, and we want to follow him." Woo hoo!

Next a another little girl said, "Yeah, Buddha can't hear us."
When another girl chimed in, "And he doesn't give us food."

Amen!

To anyone who's ever said or thought that children don't understand "spiritual things" let me tell you: there is no Junior Holy Spirit.

(Thanks to Caril and my church for always emphasizing and teaching our children with that point.)

I wish there was a way I could describe you to the world
To share the wonderfulness of you
the man you are to me,
the innate goodness our Creator has bestowed in His mercies
To display it before the world
for all to see and know,
the wonderfulness of my man
his character,
his cause,
his loyalty,
his affection,
his perseverance

You are so much more than I can speak of

My heart is filled.

Five months ago...

There was once a hope, a quiet whisper of longing and waiting. When suddenly and quite unexpectantly, a circle of light [light in the light of love] enthroned the princess, and that once quiet whisper sprang forth from hope to greet her with a gentle kiss. And so, a new journey begins...

Five months ago this started...five months ago today. The time has pasted so quickly, and yet there seems a million memories and growth spurts in between! Five months...some may laugh at that, but we're building and we're investing. We are laying a sure foundation. This journey we are on, my darling, I wouldn't let it go for the world. Sometimes it seems to long, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm here with you...living and learning and growing and delighting.

When I read what I wrote five months ago, I smile because that once quiet hope of a whisper is full grown into the reality that we are moving ahead to meet that hope of a life together. And I love it so!

And so, the journey continues.

This is still so true...and I hope it always will...

Radiantly Glowing
12/26/05

Smiles are interesting things, once you get to know them. A true smile, that is. I was watching the princess as she conversed with her valiant warrior, and it seems to me that he is the tool that lights her face. Hmm...it's an interesting thing.

Smiling.

It shows such pleasure, such delight. The eyes begin to sparkle, and you know it's a real smile when the eyes begin to scrunch up and then disappear. The beauty of a smile? When it can't be helped. When the person, like the princess, tries to keep the smile down, but can't as the corners of the lips continue to turn up. It's then that joy radiants and their skin begins to glow...no need of a bronzer. It's all natural.

Can I say just one thing? The princess is under that spell every time she talks to her warrior, every time she sees him or hears his voice. She lights up in a smile that can't be helped.

...the most beautiful kind there is.

Darn those rabbits!

Rabbits ate my sunflower seedlings today. I'm not too happy with them. I started off with nine little seedlings, then four succumbed to either crows or the gardener's weedwacker (the verdict hasn't come in on that one yet) and now I have four half-eaten, nibbled on, and wilted little plants. Oh, and out of all the flowers I planted I wanted my sunflowers to grow the most!

Psalm 128

How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD,

Who walks in His ways.

When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands,

You will be happy and it will be well with you.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

Within your house,

Your children like olive plants

Around your table.

Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed

Who fears the LORD.

The LORD bless you from Zion,

And may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

Indeed, may you see your children's children

Peace be upon Israel!

Love is the perfect bond of unity. Can anything exist and survive without love? Is there any existence without love?

Let us love one another, because love is from God ( 1 Jn. 4:7). Through Christ's humility the love of God was manifested in us, in that we live through Him (1 Jn. 4:9). And my dear brethren, we did not love because we knew what love was or how to love, no we love because our Lord sent His Son to die as the sacrifice for the deeds we had done (1 Jn. 4:10). And this is true: if we love one another God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us...it runs its full course into maturity (1 Jn. 4:12). There is no fear in love--no dread or anxieties--but love, the kind that is full-grown, complete, grounded in Christ, turns fear out and expels every trace of terror (1 Jn. 4:18). The idea of fear in love shows that the love who fears is not yet made complete, because fear [in love] has to do with punishment and those who fear in love have not yet reached their full maturity in love (1 Jn. 4:18).

What is love? What is the sacrifice of love? When you give in love do you give in the abundance which you have stored up, (essentially) saving some for yourself? Or do you give everything, even to your last penny that you had to live on? Which is the sacrifice of love? (Mk. 12:41-44)

Is there any greater topic, any greater discussion in the world than that of love? Love that which our Perfect Divine has so graciously blessed us with and given us the faculities to love the same...

Love is refining...it is defining. When we love truest and purest, love covers a multitude of sins (Prov. 10:12). Our Lord delights in love unchanging (Mic. 7:18)...love that is pure, unselfish, giving, a reflection of His very own compassion and ceased anger toward us. He showed this display of love in Christ, and tells us that in the same way, God demonstrated His love for us that while we were sinners Christ died for us (Ro. 5:8), inasmuch greater love has no one than this: to lay down his life for his friend (Jn. 15:13).

Pursue love (1 Cor. 14:11). Above all else, love one another, love the Father, love your neighbor, love yourself, love your wife, love your husband. Feverently love one another out of the purity of your heart (1 Pe. 1:22). If we have not love then our living has sounded like an annoying, useless noisy gong or clanging cymbal (1 Cor. 13:1). So then, put on love.

If you have the gift of prophecy and know the mysteries and knowledge, but no love then it is worthless. If your have faith to move mountains, but no love, then you are nothing. If you give all you have to the poor and offer yourself as a sacrifice, but still no love...then all of that profits you nothing (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

Love is great...beyond great. It is the pinnacle of all living, it is the mark of a full life. Love is beauty, and beauty is truth. And as Keats has said that's all you need and all you need to know. Life is summed up in all its majestic forms and paths in one overused and misunderstood four-letter word: LOVE.

So, take note:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.


Now take hope with you...

Love never fails.

Know this and know love. Live this and live love.

Love is as strong as death...
many waters cannot quench love, neither can
floods drown it.
Song of Songs 8:6a, 7a

I haven't been writing this week, because I've been reading (woohoo) Where Girls Come First: The Rise, Fall, and Surprising Revival of Girls' Schools. It's a good read so far...very interesting. (the wheels in the brain are turning...hmm...am I envisioning my very own girls' school in my head? Quite possibly. Or at least a secondary girl-based curriculum. Oh, how the brain works!)

My mind has gone ADD today...

I feel like my thoughts have been everywhere today...some good, some not so good...sigh...some carried over from yesterday. Let's see romance, God, the perfect black shoes, raunchy culture...not to mention cooking and sewing.

By the way, I burnt the tips of my fingers melting chocolate. Well...they're not burnt-burnt, but definitely very red. And I still haven't reconciled with my sewing machine who insisted on continuing breaking the thread after I adjusted the tension and rethreaded. It made me think, 'No wonder why people buy their clothes.' Although there is something to say about making/designing your own clothes. It's a finished project you can be proud in. Although...I over did it with all my sewing projects and dug myself into a little hole. So, my fears of failure and the need to strive to show my worth are continually having to be fought. I refuse to return to that place where the walls in my room seem to be pressing into me...ah! the pressure!

And so, a conversation from last night regarding the biblicalness and validity, so to speak of the believers pray (by the way, this is the God thinking just in case you didn't catch that) briefly remained in my mind this morning. Just for those of you who are interested what I mean, here's what I mean: Today's Christian culture has this what we call "believer's prayer," which people pray when they come to Christ. Last Sunday was Easter Sunday and my pastor's nephew gave his testimony, which quite amazingly showed God's grace and desire to restore people to himself. (Even as I'm writing this my mind is going ADD! I just returned from looking for and adding pictures to my photobucket. Aahh!) However, the nephew had come to a climax in this life (thus far) and said he made a deal with God that if God worked out the details of a certain situation then he'd never leave God. Sequently, the Lord worked out the details and the nephew said, "And I've never left him since."
The first thing that popped into my head was, 'But did he pray the prayer!' Don't worry, guys...because right after I realized I thought that I laughed out loud...in my head, of course. Does the Bible ever talk about a believer's prayer? In the Gospels or Epistles? No. When Jesus healed people and said, "your sins are forgiven" did he ever say, "Wait!---first pray this prayer then you're all good." Umm, nope. So where did we get this believer's prayer anyway? Which lead the conversation to James 2:14-20 (and continuing) that talks about faith without works is dead. (I'm now realizing that this thought alone is quite long.) And that if you truly believe something your faith will be manifested in what you do/how you live your life. Which led to question: what about those people that say, "but I've prayed the prayer!" but there is no evidence, no fruit in what they say they believe...they live in the same way they lived without Christ. Ultimately, no human has a say on a person's salvation---thank the Lord!---but all evidence would point to no---that their faith is dead.

Whew! That thought is done...but I'm looking out the window and I do hope that is rains.

So, I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'What the heck did she mean by raunchy culture?' Well...it's actually very interesting. Our [pop] culture is raunchy...very much so, no denying it. There's this book I came across through a few different websites last night, it's called Female Chauvinist Pigs : Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. All I'm going to say, is what I've read from reviews and pertaining articles is that this book is quite thought-provoking in relation to our culture, which definitely needs redressing. Oh, by the way that author is Ariel Levy, contributing editor of New York magazine. I just came across this, but thought it also might be an intersting read A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue by Wendy Shalit.

On romance...I did receive this lovely haiku today.

And then I had this thought today, 'Would my younger self have liked me now? Would she have liked how I turned out? What would would have happened if I had gone to England to study cinematics? Or became a fashion designer and moved to NY? What if...what if..." Then, I thought if I hadn't been where I have...then I wouldn't be where I am now. And then, I also thought...that none of those things would ever have happened, because God already had everything planned...there is more detail in that thought that I'm not going into now...I was on the phone...

Yesterday

Lines

Lines written at a small distance from my House

and sent me by my little Boy to the

Person to whom they are

addressed

It is the first mild day of March:
Each minute sweeter than before,
The red-breast sings from the tall larch
That stands beside our door.

There is a blessing in the air,
Which seems a sense of joy to yield
To the bare trees, and mountains bare,
And grass in the green field.

My Sister! ('tis a wish of mine)
Now that our morning meal is done,
Make haste, your morning task resign;
Come forth and feel the sun.

Edward will come with you, and pray,
Put on with speed your woodland dress,
And bring no book, for this one day
We'll give to idleness.

No joyless forms shall regulate
Our living Calendar:
We from to-day, my friend, will date
The opening of the year.

Love, now an universal birth,
From heart to heart is stealing,
From earth to man, from man to earth,
--It is the hour of feeling.

One moment now may give us more
Than fifty years of reason;
Our minds shall drink at every pore
The spirit of the season.

Some silent laws our hearts may make,
Which they shall long obey;
We for the year to come may take
Our temper from to-day.

And from the blessed power that rolls
About, below, above;
We'll frame the measure of our souls,
They shall be tuned to love.

Then come, my sister I come, I pray,
With speed put on your woodland dress,
And bring no book; for this one day
We'll give to idleness.